For those of you in my demographic...get your razors out and draw a warm bath.

Guns N Roses album Appetite for Destruction turned 20 years old this week.

Don't bother testing the temp of the bath water before. LOL

I'm watching Night At the Museum.
I'm bored. This movie is to History what Harry Potter is to reading. Its a very slick way to get children interested in History. While I applaud the stealth.....I am bored as hell!! Some parts of the movie are kinda funny cutesy funny.
I went to the Museum of Natural History...it was as mildly entertaining as this movie is. But lets put it this way...I'm blogging while the movie is on.


My boss complains to me once a day because I put the lines through my seven Euro style. She wants me to stop and write them the "normal" way. She says it confuses her and she thinks its a 3. I've been writing my sevens that way since I was like 8 or 9 when I saw a hispanic kid write his sevens in this manner. I thought it was pretty cool. Now she wants me to stop and its impossible. Thats become a part of my personality...I mean how we write can tell alot about us. Of course you all know I am not conforming to this fascist numeric assimilation.

You just have to love all the new terrorist alerts. Gee, people start to lean more towards Democratic rule and suddenly "Yes, Iraq is involved with terrorism" Bite me. The Bush administration has been the biggest dog and pony show to hit politics in quite a long time. Republican politicians are at risk of losing the great money making position they have had the pleasure of raping the hell out of for the past two presidential terms. So here comes the coincidental terror issues. Dont be fooled by the bullshit.

I just got in fight a few blocks away from my house with some rich middle eastern son of a bitch in a BMW convertable. He was driving so fast he missed the turn onto the road Lotus and I were walking on. Then he makes the turn and starts speeding up the road. I yelled at him to slow down. So he stops and waits for me to catch up at my walking speed...which just shows he was speeding. He starts yelling at me, saying he was not speeding. I told him it looked and sounded very much like he was speeding. He told me I need to have brains before I open my mouth. I told him alot of people have dogs and children at risk because people come speeding down this road. There were people sitting on their porches while we had it out. I was vocal, loud but not profane. The rich guy in the BMW how ever was cursing a blue streak calling me a fucking idiot. I kept my cool and simply said, "For your sake I hope you don't run down a child" And kept walking on my way. He sped off. I'll repeat that....he, in his convertible sports car.....SPED AWAY!!!. I hope he flips that fucking car....and further...I hope I am driving by and can point and laugh at him. Once again....its like a day before my period.....you do not fuck with me!!!! I'm bloated, emotional, crampy, and aggravated!!!
And I'm hoping the fact that he was yelled at by a woman will irk him more than anything else. "An american infidel female told me, ME, a man not to speed down the street" Next time get out of your bourgeois sports car and take a swing at me in this predominantly Jewish neighborhood. With all the global tension...who knows what hilarity will ensue.
Don't get me wrong I have no use for racism...but where the fuck does this guy get off. Welcome to America...welcome to the First Amendment...if he drives by again doing 50 in a 30 that has dogs and children running around....I'll yell again, and again. And when he finally hits a child...maybe he'll remember the infidel whore he called a fucking idiot.

Holy crap!!! I hate weekends. I can't even watch a fucking movie without my mom waltzing in and out of my goddamn apartment. What an ass. Six fucking times she just barges in. I have to stop the movie sit there and wait until she's done which by the way she is never ever ever done!!!! Then she gets mad because I am growing impatient because I want to watch a movie. I'm two days away from my period so now is the not the time to fuck with me or my cinema time...because I assure you knives will fucking fly!!!!!
This last time she found the need to barge in...I'm at the end of the fucking movie which was originally two hours but her bullshit stretched it to three....she has to come in and tell me how she finally spoke to the goddamn neighbor....she sees me pause the fucking movie...keeps going and then finds the need to explain how jesus wants her to resolve her differences with the neighbor so wishing the neighbor well was what a good christian should do. Fuck you and your christian bullshit. If you were the thoughtful fucking human you need to constantly remind yourself you are then you would have a little consideration atleast after the fourth invasion in a three hour period. And this bullshit christian shit has got to stop. When I drive that axe through your head can I use Odin as an excuse???? Well, a good Odinist likes to take care of a problem. Holy Hell in a hand basket.....this woman needs to drop the pious blind fold and open her fucking eyes to reality....I hate pious self righteous christians!!!!!!!!! Fucking Hell!!!!!!!

Huzzah bitches!!!! The Sci Fi Channel Twilight Zone Marathon is own.....Yeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! I love me some Twilight Zone!!!

Puppy mill auction
The best is those god damn amish...how religious and fucking righteous. All these auctions are USDA licensed and inspected. This would leave people to believe that is the USDA says its ok that these dogs are fine and healthy. Watch the video and see what high standards the USDA has for the mill puppy. Then try not to think about the fact that they also inspect the factory farms and slaughter houses we get our meat from.
Alot of people tell me I take this too seriously...I can't save them all...but if I can show these images and help push for laws banning the sale of retail puppies then I have helped do something that can help the welfare and breeding quality of the domestic dog. So fuck you to the nay sayers.
I caused a huge debate on a message board....people became angry...but maybe in after thought they might Google up some of those horrific images and join in the fight to ban mills and backyard breeders. Or they can just wait until there dog lunges and tries to take off their face...like what happened to my mother. Or feel and hear the snap of teeth just miss your face like I did far too frequently from the same over bred goldie. And then they can deal with the heartbreak of having to put that dog down like we had to do.
Alot of you have read this from me far too many times and to you I apologize...but if someone stumbles across this post and becomes aware, and takes further initiative to research this subject...then isn't worth the redundance.
Don't shop, Adopt....voice your anger to the pet stores that sell innocent victims of mills.

WE tv needs to stop with the god damn bridal shows. Its depressing. I just want to watch Mr. Mom and I have to have all this bridal crap dangled in my face...Nya nya...wedding....Nya nya..
Christ I'm about to put a nuptial cake knife to my throat.

Put the fucking phones down and drive

Home alone on a Saturday night. This sucks.

Could someone please feed Angelina Jolie? Have you seen her lately? Is she trying to blend in with all the third world kids she adopted? Have a sandwich. Christ, its like Jack Skellington with a make up and hair.

Click Here to view undercover footage of puppy mill auctions. If you have purchased a dog from a pet store...you helped support this. Regardless of whether you claim you rescued it from the store or because the store was so clean and sparkly that it convinced you the place was caring...your money helps greedy people continue to exploit and abuse dogs.

I don't know what my problem is lately but I have been totally unmotivated lately. By the end of this month I can officially start building a dog training career...but I have barely done a thing to get started. Every aspect of my life had hit that same stagnancy. I feel like my brain just decided nothing is really worth doing let alone doing well. I stopped vacuuming because Lotus(aka Sheddy Lee) just keeps leaving all this hair everywhere. I am amazed at the amount of hair that can come off a 20 lb dog. I figured what is the point in vacuuming? I had clothes in every room of the apartment. It looks like a mall exploded in here. Dishes in the sink....clean dishes that have been in the dishwasher forever. My room was virtually unnavigable. For the past two or three weeks all I do is come home, sit at the computer and watch movies. When to tackle things...I can't focus and just get frustrated. I am so unable to finish a thought lately. My weekends are mostly me sitting on the couch watching movies or Justice Files. I should be doing so much more with my time...I mean these things are not going to magically get done. DBA's will not apply for themselves.
The stagnancy finally lifted today. I was in my conscious coma on the couch watching City Confidential. Half the day was already spent. I was staring at the hideously huge TumbleLee's....Sheddy Lee's hair ball tumble weeds. I looked across the whole carpet which now looked like a desolate dusty rose desert with these white flecked black balls of hair. My eyes widened as I lifted them and saw what a huge mess the apartment was. Where the hell have I been? Suddenly I was up off the couch folding clothes, scooping up hair balls....etc.
I think sometimes we get in that mental rut....then we let our surroundings reflect that which in turn makes it alot harder to get out of the rut. I have let too much build up due to my inactivity. Not just the apartment, getting things together for dog training....plus I really need a second job to pay some bills off a little faster. I've been screwing off big time these past few months...when I should have been moving along and building things up...I simply shut down, fell away, focused on things that really need not be a priority just now. I need to get my energy back on track and focused. The mental coma has ended....whether I want to or not its seriously time to get my ass in gear, suck it up and do what needs to be done in order to accomplish the things I feel I need to.
My brother oddly enough was the one who pointed this out.
"Did you ever feel like nothing is going to get any better and that to keep going is pointless?"
"That's because you are not doing anything...too much time to think when you should be working on what you need. You are sitting here pining about where you are and how nothing will get better instead of doing something about it. Its not going to happen on its own. And in turn this inactivity is giving you too much time to think with despair"
"Jesus Christ, you just gave me the same speech I have given so many others....I'm an ass...I should take the advice I give everyone else"
From that conversation I realized maybe some of my stagnancy might also be coming from a fear of failing or missing out....but in reality....I'll wind up missing more by just sitting here.

I've had Netflix for over a month. In that time...I still have yet to sit through one fucking movie uninterrupted. I might as well have kids at this point. Lotus' interruptions I can understand...but everyone else in the main part of the house just waltzes the fuck in annoys the hell out of me! A two hour movie should not be a six hour endevour!!!! And they see I am in the middle of a movie and then come back 10 minutes later with a far more ludicrous reason to bother me. I should just wait until like 3a.m. and then watch the friggin thing. God I fucking hate this goddamn place. Ugh. I am just overly aggravated with everything lately. The only way I can duck out of all the bullshit is watch a movie and I can't even fucking get that!!!!!! God forbid I get an hour and a half of some fucking piece of mind....the god damn world would probably spin off its axis. Just a couple of hours of peace, not having to worry about money, my future, my appearance, people's opinions, peoples' stupidity...two fucking hours that it, thats all!!!!!!

OK. So now I need to take my truck in to get fixed. I asked my mother if she can give me a ride to and from work. She can't. Great right. No one I know lives or works close enough to me to help out with a ride.
The bullshit gets better. Lotus needs her check up and shots. I have enough money to do one or the other...unless I put one on a credit card...which I only pray I have enough room on a card. I'm stressing big time. I can barely afford to exist as it is. I am trying to work out a plan while my mom and I are taking the dogs for a walk. She keeps changing the fucking subject to "look how they did their yard...", "What's that noise?" "Blah blah blah." I voiced my frustration, what is her reply. A god speech..I need to pray..I need to accept christ yadda yadda yadda. Once again....I have a serious problem and someone tells me to pray. Is it me? Oh, pray and you'll feel better? Sounds like a little something I call "Fuck it, I don't care"....same results. Apparently god is a mechanic AND a vet, I have an OBGYN appointment to?"You need to get in to god's stirrups and scoot to then end of the holy exam table. LOL...can he help with that?
Well Lotus's health comes first, but I really don't feel like being stranded in the ghetto because my truck decided to take a nap. So in lieu of all this I had to budget my grocery shopping under 40 bucks....and oh the fine quality vittles one can obtain for 40 bucks. Apparently I was not shopping at God Mart.
I should just pack it up and move to Iowa as planned. Atleast you can survive financially there...in Gods Country.

Crap....my S-10's rear needs a new gasket and fluid. It just does not end!! Piece of crap truck. I'll never buy another American vehicle again.

Can you believe this lawyer who got on a plane with a resistent strain of TB? What is he an idiot? Who does that?? He is quarantined right now....what would that tell him about what he did? He should be ashamed of himself....what a terribly selfish act on his part. If he infected someone with already compromised respiratory health...he could have killed them. Amazingly shameful!!

Lotus's bday is tomorrow!! How cool is it we celebrate our birthday's in the beginning of June? We are seven days apart...both left handed....my co-trainer was a left handed Gemini as well...his birthday is the day before mine. Lotus will be two...thats right non believers...I have taken care of a living thing for two years. LOL. The other day I found the email that the breeder sent me the day after Lo was born. First one out and the only girl. The attachments were the first pics I had seen of her....eyes still shut...wriggly...looked like a little rodent. What a great birthday that was. So I am happy its her bday...she probably has no clue its her birthday...nor does she care..which is actually good because I have no money to buy her anything. LOL

Here is a piece of sound advice. When you have a pinched nerve in your neck....don't do push ups and sit ups. LOL
Don't ask me how I got this stupid pinched nerve in my neck. My mom insists its stress. I think its from having to physically move that 150lb cow of a dog who just amble in front of you and then stops. Or it was already compromised a few weeks ago when I had alcohol poisoning. The repetitive...ehhh...strain on the neck muscles....from ehhh...the alcohol being...purged...from my system. And then one stupid move later that week just caused the nerve to be pinched. Or maybe its all of the above. Who knows.
But the idiot I am....insisted on working out this evening and severely depreciated any healing that had gone on this weekend. Ahhhh...the trial of having a slower metabolism than some of those size three chicks out their. I hate you. LOL.
Some of you people who have gotten my back rubs in the past better start paying back. LOL
God...it hurts. Maybe its just some kharmic sympathy, psychic energy I absorbed from my boss who is in chronic back and neck pain. Its possible....it is!!!

I must say it was a great excuse to dodge the better half of the BBQ yesterday. My mom set up the vollyball net in the backyard. But it was impossible to keep the game in play because Darla and Duncan kept going after the ball. They can't help it....every ball in the yard is theirs..the only time any of us are ever out there with a ball is to play with them...so they just associate: person+ball=playtime. At one point my newfian princess and the alpha matriarch Darla was on the field running for the ball. The older of my two cousins screams...I mean screams at Darla to "get off the field". I clenched my jaw and held onto my seat to keep from getting up. My mom as usual pretended nothing happened. Darla looked at him like, "How dare you!.....who do you think you are?"
If you know me, you know I can not stand it when people who know nothing about dogs yell at my dogs. All you are doing is confusing their opinion of people. Not to mention the fact that its just plain rude. If someone yelled at your child how would you feel? This back yard is essentially the main playground for all three dogs and has been since they were little pups. This is their territory in their mind. Everything in it is theirs, they defend it, guard it...its theirs. This shit yelled at Darla and in her typical dignified fashion turns her back on him walks toward the edge of the field, puts her front paws over the line and keeps her ass in the field pointing in his direction. I lost it....she has an amazing sense of humor. "Good one Dar". She looked at me and opened her mouth in a big panting smile as if to say, "Right? can you believe the set on this kid? Kiss my tail buddy". Darla has always cracked me up with her well thought out actions. Her sense of humor is one you see commonly in the Newfoundland but very rarely in alot of other breeds. That humor coupled with the typical stubborn attitude of a female dog makes for a hysterical sense of humor....not unlike alot of us bitchy broads huh?

Ugh. My mom thought is would just be a riot to have family over today for a Memorial Day BBQ. Wonderful....unfortunately you can't pick up the sarcastic tone in my text. If you can you either know me to well or I am the greatest writer ever. LOL.
My aunt uncle and cousins are Baptists....not the entertaining kind either that dance around with no teeth in their mouth and snakes in hand while swiging a jar of homemade moonshine. No, these are boring baptists. They sucked my mom in. So basically its their fault I get harrassed while I try to sleep every Sunday morning with, "Do you want to come to church with me?"
And basically my brother and I are told consistently if we don't accept christ we are going to hell, despite the fact that we could save a bus load of nuns from a fiery death...we would still go to hell. I had started this arguement with her many times in the past. Now I just keep my mouth shut. My brother loves to debate and does with the typical sneaky yet scarey cunning only a Pisces can have. I break it up when he starts to step on my mom's faith though. I don't think you should ever step all over someone's faith...although many christians seem to do so constantly...very rarely do you see any other religion do this to others...but still and all...no one should take away your faith.
My brother is agnostic for the most part. I am pagan but I apply alot of agnostic...cism?....to my faith. Because in reality the images we are given in the Bible and mythology are just given to us to help focus our minds on morals, clear thought as well as teaching us to find underlying meaning in all that we do...be it work, life choices..etc. What Pagans call spells, christians call prayer....its all just to help the human mind focus on a goal or gain clear thought to see what truely needs to be done, or what you are supposed to learn from the situation. I am not a fan of christians telling me that I need to give everything over to god because he will take care of all. If that was the case we would have no war and no homeless. We are here to learn, we are challenged to become better and stronger. We are consistently and until our death beds...a work in progress....maybe even beyond the death bed.....but I am getting off the subject here.
My mom gives me the speech about not cursing or telling any "off color" stories. I said, "Do you have that little faith in me and my conduct...I know I curse like a trucker but when I taught class...and you were in on two sessions...did you ever once hear me swear?"
"No...but I..."
"Then have a little faith in my fucking conduct..." LOL, "And what kind of things do you think I am going to say?.....Here's to swimmin with bow legged women...." Jaws was on yesterday...
"Skadi, OMG"
She then gave the speech to my brother. He argued with her on the issue for some time. We have never gotten along with this side of the family. For years my aunt has sat me down and tried to convince me of the "dangers of heavy metal". Her kids look at me in fear..I don't know what she has told them...I could be dressed like a Stepford wife and sneeze pez and these kids would still fear me.
So my brother, fresh from the dorm mentioned a few beers will solve everything.
"No there's not alcohol....baptists don't drink..."
After the sound of a skipped record filled the room ad quickly left....my brother and I looked at each other.
After my mother left the room he said there is no way he can deal with these people. I told him its no problem he just needs to chill. Then my mother comes back and insists we must include the children in all we do. These kids are like 20 years younger than us!! If we were in Alabama...I could have bore these children...there is a slight gap in age (no offense Alabama..but you know your rep)...lets out it this way...they missed the Yu-gi-oh craze.
So we went and got a six pack of Guinness...because Lotus loves the Guinness..kidding. Long story short...empty stomach...I am one in...with a pinched nerve...and a house full of Baptists. Send help!
No spell check....my mom is at the door telling me to be social. I love you guys...it's been nice knowing ya.

Ha! Last weekend alcohol poisoning...this week....pinched nerve....It is so friggin painful. Its either stress, sleeping in a stupid position, or there is a really good storm coming....or all of the above. Just constant drama lately. Ugh.

New Jersey currently has the lowest gas in the country. I think they should have the most expensive gas as punishment for having the most impossible roads to navigate. Any state that makes you take an additional road to make a left or a U turn should DEFINITELY pay more for gas. Shove it up your jug handles.

Turn signals...they are not just the towns way of gussying up the road ways...they are useful too. You can use them as a means of determining when it is safe for you to make a turn. Thoughtful and accommodating huh? Yeah....SO USE THEM AND STOP STARING AT THEM!!!!! I just can't stand it when I have to Andretti my way to work because I don't know which personality will be managing the office and I have to sit behind some jackass staring at the turn arrow. "Derrr....sideways V with a tail, what does that mean?...der why is there a vehement looking butch chick in a filthy blue truck screaming at me to move?....Is that Bad Brains she's blasting?"
Yeah, schmuck...move it.
Ugh...and don't even get me started...Sirius added a punk channel. OMG....its awesome. Usually the only way you can listen to good punk is on some college radio show at 4 a.m.
There used to be this young girl I used to work with and she said she was into punk. I was like, "Cool...so you're in stuff like The Vandals, Exploited?" Blank stare. "How about Black Flag....TSOL....The Descendents?" She replies, "I like Green Day" Of course you do. Kids today...LOL.
Lotus' bday is in a week. She'll be two. Two years, I have owned a living thing....and its doing GREAT. LOL. I have to find a new vet for her because her current vet has no problem letting pet store owners come on his shitty cable show and get a little marketing time by bringing the mill puppies they sell in the slavery market they call a pet store(and don't think for a second any of the other animals they sell there come from any better a place). I refuse to give that asshole any more of my money...if I'm paying him, and he is supporting the corruption known as puppy mills then inadvertently I am supporting it. Plus if I bring Lotus in for her check up and I am in an exam room with this guy.....well...I just can't afford bail AND her check up. LOL.
When I pick up her records I have to remember to drop off some puppy mill info. If you knew a clothes line used sweat shop kids to make their clothes, and you personally saw the devastating effects of sweatshops on the children...would you feel right buying those clothes still?
Not only did my family have to suffer through the harsh realities of two dogs from over bred broods...but in the training ring I had to explain to people that because its a pet store dog, its sub par both health wise and behavior wise. I had a couple of good cries (like thats a hard thing to do right..I have a soft heart in certain situations) with several students when they realized their dogs really would be better off on the other side. I've stood in front of the doggie day care and pointed out to other bystanders the differences that were visible between healthy dogs from good breeders and the sickly deformed ones from mills(I could have been fired for this...should have a couple of times). How do you, as a vet, who has gone to school almost as long as any other doctor, learned about the ins and outs of breeding, caring for animals, find it quite alright for the abuses that are carried out on these puppy mills and in these backyard breeding facilities? Apparently no one has brought an abused mill Great Dane with cigar burns all over his body from some mill worker who thought it was funny to watch the dog writhe in pain into his exam room. Apparently he never saw this dog hobble with a permanent injury from being cramped in too small a cage. He never saw the scars on this dogs head, face, legs, mutilated tail, horrible fear of men. If he had he would stand up against all the pet store in our upper class, "Give it to me now, I don't have time to wait"snob infested area. So no....I have fought too hard and have given to many speeches both orally and in text against puppy mills to sit by and let this uncaring money hungry vet stick a thermometer up my dogs ass.
Screw him and screw puppy mills!!
Crap...I don't have time to spell check. Too bad. And sorry for the run ons. Deal with it.

Allergies are kicking my ass!! I went out to get lunch for the office today and when I got back I suddenly became congested, itchy throat, ears, eyes, sniffles. Ugh. I'm hoping its just allergies.
I'm strongly considering calling in sick to work tomorrow, but that means I lose a day's pay. But I have not taken a day off from work since my seminar in December. I can't sleep...which means my patience will be even lower with my boss tomorrow which means I'll be more likely to get fired which will cost me more money that if I just called in sick.
I have not had a decent night of sleep in a few days. I think I could use a day of sleep and/ or bad daytime TV.

Thank the gods....Jerry Fallwell is finally dead. He blamed 9/11 on Pagans and feminists. Asshole.

If you can...rent Second Hand Lions...or add it to your Netflix or what ever. Its a great movie. It sounds fruity when you read the description and I had my doubts about it but once you start watching it you become so wrapped up in it. Hysterical and cute.....like me...kidding.

Hmmmm...more and more terrorist discoveries are hitting the news....any coincidence that this is all coming to light as the race for presidential elections begins? Hmmmm. Interesting

I'm the only asshole at home by myself for Cinco De Mayo aren't I? And I am legally Spanish!! WTF?

For the life of me I will never understand why my parents insist on the fact that the garbage men cannot pick up a garbage bag weighing more than thirty pounds. They refuse to let me put most of my garbage out on the curb. They actually want me to go through the bags of garbage and divide them into smaller bags!! So they basically sit there because I refuse too. SO today my mother resolves that the one year old garbage bags on the side of the house MUST be taken care of. Now if I can haul the garbage to the fucking curb then why is it too heavy for the damn garbage men. Are the garbage men 7 year old girls??? They are garbage men!! If they did not want to pick up heavy shit they should be in an office. Come on. So my fat asthmatic ass has to go dig through all this musty ass decomposing bullshit because as usual my parents have this skewed concept on reality. They are severely insane. I mean this is almost as retarded as the time the crazy bitch I call mom would not let me dump the fish tank water into the street because she said it would run down the street past the houses and neighbors would complain. So instead I had to let this water evaporate and decompose until the whole house smelled like a swamp. This is the insanity that is the parental logic that I have been raised with. So I ask you...is it any wonder I am off to such a slow start in life???
Fucking nut jobs I have for parents!!!

We had a customer call today whose name was Kit Tann. I kid you not. Kit Tann. Thats a porno name.
I asked my coworker if Mr and Mrs Kit Tan had a bunch of little Kit Tanns running about. What were his parents thinking?

Holy Crap!! Has any one seen my Sunday??
LOL. Lotus woke me up at like 8 am. At 11 I went back to bed. My mom woke me up to give me a candy bar wrapped in this pink wrapper with the words "Grace" written on it. I was half asleep and still a little hung over while she explained some BS about her church and this stupid chocolate festival(so that's how they recruit the women!!) and how she is giving me a candy bar for no reason, the same way god gives us Grace for know reason.
So I put half of the God chocolate on my altar for the goddess to sweeten some situations.
Ugh...two nights of drinking has totally taken its toll on me today. But it was worth it because both nights the company and surroundings were spot on awesome! I'll take the Sunday nausea and lethargy. After the god chocolate...I cleaned the apartment. OMG....I really let things go the past few weeks. I had to redirect my focus on other things and the apartment just went to hell. Lo is getting her summer coat so she is still shedding...how much hair can come off a 20 lb dog? Its like tumbleweeds rolling throughout the house. I'm waiting for Clint Eastwood to come strutting out of the bathroom. I actually had to take the flea comb and brush up the excess hair off the rug before vacumming...no I was not using the comb to check for fleas in the rug...the teeth are very fine and close together so it picks up a ton of hair off the rug.
Then I stress ate a whole pot of Mac and Cheese....ewwwww. Then I watched the Ranger game, crapped out during the first overtime period but woke up to see them win. I totally have a crush on the Ranger Goalie Henrick Lundquist. He's an amazing goalie...and Scandanavian...hmmmmm Scandanavia. Some of you are laughing.."Look at Skadi going for the short hair guys lately...what gives?" Wish I knew.
There is a book I read recently that I think everyone should get a hold of and read. Gavin De Becker's The Gift of Fear. It is essential that women read this book. I have found it very enlightening and empowering.

Only in the South....click here.

Ugh. I am so ghetto. I'm waiting for my mom to get home from work because I have no food. I was supposed to go grocery shopping after work but I decided laundry was more of a priority after having to squeeze into low rise pants all day. Ugh.
I decided to start frequenting the dog park near by. I figure its a great place to pick up guys. You can see first hand how they treat their bitches...bu dumdum dum

Hell yeah I'm back on my soap box!!
I was flipping through channels this morning and came across Family Pet on News 12. Lo's vet hosts the show. Or should I say Lo's ex vet. He put that schmuck who owns Selmer's Pet Land on there to discuss pets. Selmer's Pet Land was one of the banes of my training existence. He is the first to have the Schip-tzu...part Schipperke part Shih-Tzu...but I like to call it the Chupacabra because they took two breeds who can care less if their owners live or die as long as there is kibble or ample access to your corpse for food. Aside from that, a girl who used to work there told me they pass off the sick dogs as having "allergies", which just makes it more obvious they think you are an asshole because dogs with excessive allergies usually indicate over breeding. I expect the pet store owner to be an asshole but Greenfield (or Greendick as my ex had so correctly named him when the Dr. accused me of leaving Lotus in the crate to long giving her a bladder infection)should know better. Maybe he is just greedy and the puppy mill's onslaught of sick dogs are putting his kids through college. Anyhoo. I channeled my rage from the past few weeks and aimed it at these two men. Lotus and I are going to find a new vet. But not before I drop off some puppy mill literature to our ex vet's office.
Oh and on the show Selmer picks up a fluffy white puppy. "Oh an American Eskimo" I think to myself. Dr. Greendick says, "Samoyed?" Selmer had to correct him. How do you not know the difference when some little idiot like myself can tell the difference between the two dogs?
And on a side not...the puppy already had excessive tear staining which looked like someone tried to wipe off before the show. A puppy that young should not have tear staining at that young an age...but then again...it IS a mill dog. Anyway...here is the email.

I was a little disappointed to see Al Selmer on Family Pet. How a show dedicated to the health and well being of pets brings on a man who sells puppies in his store and aids in horrifying movement known as "designer dogs" is mind boggling. For a vet as well known as Greenfield to overlook what pet stores like Selmer's are doing to contribute to the puppy mill/back yard breeder industry its just appalling. Then again maybe it is in his best interest for people to keep buying mill dogs because then his patient base will increase with an endless assembly line of genetically sick dogs.
As for Al Selmer...he should be ashamed of himself for selling puppies. Any breeder who sells puppies to a pet store is NOT a reputable breeder. If neither Dr. Greenfield or Al Selmer know enough about the dangers of puppy mills and backyard breeders I suggest both men sit down and take a look at www.Stoppuppymills.org. It is unacceptable to act as though nothing is wrong with selling puppies in a pet store. Both men should be absolutely ashamed of themselves for contributing to such a horrible and abusive industry filled with over-breeding, behavior problems, and torture.
And rest assured I and many of my friends who USED to take our pets to Greenfield will do so no longer as it would appear that he really does not have the caring and/or knowledge about the breeding industry.

I just opened up a box of Trix....I had to shield my eyes. Were they always that brightly colored? Maybe I never noticed they were that bright because we were all forced to wear that day glo crap in the 80's thus the Trix were dull in comparison.
Do you know how cool this bowl of creal would look under a black light?
I don't think its the sugar in Trix that wakes the kids up....its the friggin' colors. People feed this to their children everyday? The kids must piss in a spectrum of color. I am hesitant to eat this....these colors are not natural!
I think all go slip this box into my parent's kitchen cabinet and steal off with their raisin bran.

Yeeeeee!!
Red Dawn is on AMC right now!
Wolverines!!!!!
Kick ass flick. Almost the whole brat pack is represented. Its just so 80's to have a pack of kids outwit a coalition of communist nations. Good times.

Here's a little trivia....the guy in Ferris Beuller who plays the parking attendent who takes the car for a joy ride.....he was the original drummer for Sonic Youth....ok, well I thought that was interesting. Sonic Youth rocks.
This sucks having a private blog. Its like being grounded but your friends stop by to talk to you through your window. It just amplifies the fact that you can't come out and play!
One day...my blog will be back for the world to view...to continue to anger Republicans and spread useless activist bullshit...One day!!! LOL
Who cares about all that....Red Dawn is on!! Blogitics later.

On Sunday or Saturday morning...don't ask me which because I could not believe today was Tuesday(past 7 days..thorough blur)...I had the extreme fortune of getting to watch Rebel Without a Cause. I used to have this movie on tape and would watch it over and over. I went through a phase where all I used to watch was AMC...when AMC actually showed mostly classic ol skool hollywood. During that phase I had become a major James Dean fan. When I stumbled upon Rebel for the first time in ages I could not help but watch. As cheesy as some parts of the movie are.....you can't help but to just get lost in the hotness that is James Dean. OMG....I forgot how adorable he is. All men should be made in the image of James Dean...come on god...of all the molds to break...you drop that one??? I'm thinking some certain omnipotent figure went above their own image on that one.

This just in.... just had 10 minutes of thought free peace for the first time in over a week. ::sigh::

I think we I think my co-trainer had this dog in one of his classes. This is typical of the assholes we had to teach. They pick these fluffy little fucks up on an impulse at a pet store and in the end they are like, "eeewwwwww this is hard work". No shit...its a living moving breathing thing asshole. Its not a fucking cactus plant. God I hate humans!! This poor dog thought everything was going smoothly and bam! her stupid inept clueless family drops her off at the shelter. Fuck them Maggie. The kicker is....they paid an insane amount of money for their designer dog and someone else just picked her up for a small adoption fee. Who's the asshole....the morons who originally dropped 1500 bucks for a dog they turned out not to want. Fuck em. Good luck Maggie. Its not your fault humans so fucking retarded...they play god with your breed, slave trader with your puppy mill, and impulsive with their materialism. Stupid bipeds.
Maggie

Don Ho died....
So basically in the waiting room in the after life is Anna Nicole Smith, The mighty Kurt Vonnegut, and Don Ho. Can you imagine the awkward stares at each other across the room?

Take this sceptics:

Gemini Horoscope
Stress builds throughout the day and even as you are making progress on one set of issues, another situation comes up. Unfortunately, this one may not be so easy to process. You might feel like you are trapped and there is no direct avenue to getting what you want. Whatever you do, rest assured that using force won't help your case. It's time for finesse and negotiation.

No shit Sherlock!!

Like my week could not get more fucked up...my favorite author Kurt Vonnegut died last night. He was the author of Slaughter House 5. All of his books were hysterical their honest satire or what we perceive as a normal world is simply brilliant. He mockery of the government was nothing short of clever genius. His writing was outlandish, controversial, and thought provoking. And I have some goth teenager I met at Icon so many years ago to thank for introducing me to the literature of such a genius author.
Its a damn shame Vonnegut left this planet...especially this week of all weeks...Et tu Kurt Vonnegut?

I was watching Detroit Rock City again. Lotus was walking through the living room and actually stopped, sat, and looked at the TV. She is so METAL!! If I had not believed in fate before Lotus I would certainly believe in it after her. How I got a pup like her was not just luck....it was fate. My life changed the day she pushed past her four brothers to be the first one out of the womb. We share impatience, wit, humor and devotion and apparently metal. LOL

I am finally watching that movie Detroit Rock City. Funniest movie I have seen in a while. It make me miss being a metal head in high school. Call me immature and childish but I still love me my METAL!! I don't think I will ever grow out of it. Sue me.

Yay. I got my StopPuppymills.com stuff. I handed my mom a bumper sticker. "No thanks...I don't want my car windows smashed in"
Hold the phone...weren't you a hippie. Didn't you participate in a walk out in HighSchool? Fucking poser. Yeah thats right...I called my mom a FUCKING POSER. She is!!
We suffered the heartbreak of owning a dog from the Sportsmen's Kennel out east....they are a high end mill. My mom was the one attacked by the dog.She had to get stiches in her face!! The whole family stood there and wept while we said goodbye to Maxx, as his lids grew heavy and closed forever. All that and she does not have the cajones to put a fucking bumper sticker against puppy mills on her car. Fucking poser. You would think having your face nearly torn off by the dog you love who was the victim of an over bred mother would make you want to do something about it. Wuss.

why meds cost so much

Not Cute.

Pet food recall keeps growing

First off...if you are feeding your dogs Alpo and Purina...you were never doing them any favors in the first place. I used to wince when people took those cans off the shelf. What they have in those cans is not much better than what they are finding now.

this is cute.

Candy Sushi

I just came across a children's animated cartoon about pinatas. Viva Pinata is based on the video game. Basically its a whole world where Pinatas play all day. This has to be the stupidest cartoon I have ever seen and I grew up the The Snorks and Monchichis. If you think about it...kids are watching a cartoon about very colorful festive fun animals that will meet their ultimate demise as they are hung from a rope while some blindfolded child beats the crap out of them with a stick until the animal is broken apart so the rest of the children can descend on the fallen remains like a pack of starving wolves to get as much of the animals sweet sweet candy innards as possible. What acid freak animator convinced a board room this was a good idea? Even Lotus stopped and took a quizzical look at the screen.
Lotus's spaniel aspect of her Cavalier heritage is beginning to blossom as she approaches the end of her second year. I heard her "predator alert" bark after I let her out this morning. I looked out the door and found her barking at a pigeon on the power line. A few weeks ago she carried a bird head into the house....that was gross.
I feel so bad for her...Duncan is 140 lbs now and he and Darla play so rough together because they are so huge. All Lotus can do is watch them. It's like watching a small child watch the big kids play and wish they were big enough to join in. It pulls at my heart. I so wish I could afford another Cavalier for her to play with. There was one pup rescued from a shut down mill I considered but her knees were operated on (because they don't care if they breed to dogs with bad knee caps in mills), she would have to be on meds for her whole life, no tile floors...and who knows if her heart will give out in a year or so because of the greedy breeders who dont care about quality. I could not afford the meds and emotionally neither Lotus or I could endure the oncoming suprise health issues of a mill dog. Plus that dog would never withstand the clumsy movements of the 140 lb freight train known as Duncan. Lotus can no longer play with Duncan for more than a few minutes because he is so rough. There is a CockaPoo on our block but I am a total snob and won't let my dog interact with with a demonic act of humans playing god. Every other small dog on the block is poorly socialized because people are idiots. Small dog are not house cats!!
The only normal small dog on the block it this adorable mix that was rescued from North Shore. These people really lucked out. I think it is an Alaskan Kleekai Shepherd or Kleekai Pomeranian mix. Its cute as hell and a little ballsy. I love her...what a great find...I told the people they lucked out. She was a year old when they got her and she is just terrific. If we see them outside we stop and chat. Their mix has a command presence despite being half Lo's size...Lo is immediately Lo to the ground but happy to play. The people are not very well versed in dogs so I am always happy to give them any advice because I miss training. They thought Lotus was a Shih-Tzu so they are a nice clean slate to work with. They are nice people and the fact that they rescued instead of buying a god awful designer breed is just a wonderful thing to me.

A word of advice...don't ever eat dinner while watching Cold Case Files. Back in the day I would be able to watch any gore flick while eating spaghetti and meatballs....but for some reason eating a tuna salad while viewing pictures of a decayed remains was a real challenge.

My mother comes in to my apartment before.
"I paid 6 dollars for this gift bag but it smells funny, do you want it?"
"you have a gift bag that smelled too funny to give to someone but you think I might want this smelly bag to give to someone....do you think everyone I know is without nasal passages?? No, I don't want your smelly six dollar gift bag"

Today on my lunch run for the office was almost hit by some idiot. He was racing out of the porno place that sits halfway down the block. He did not even see my truck moving down the road(I am trying so hard not to type coming down the road for obvious reasons). He just blindly darts into the road. I guess it's true what they say...it does make you go blind. You'll get the joke in a second. LOL

I love owning two huge dogs. A few minutes ago those idiots selling crap out of their bins rang the bell. They quickly picked the bins up again and hauled ass to the next house when they heard the two Newfs bellowing on the other side of the door. Duncan howls...he does not bark...he also jumps on the door...it scares the crap out of me everytime I try to open the door when I come home. I can only imagine what some hapless idiot who does not live here thinks when they hear bellowing and see the door rattle from the weight of a 140 lb puppy. I hope there is an extra pair of pants in those bins.

I just need to post this. Within the past decade I have met a handful of some really cool people who have listened to my bullshit and drama repeatedly and have not only returned to listen to more of it but are always there to back me up and help me out. In thirty years of my life I have never been so fortunate to have such wonderful people in my life. I not only learn from all of you but you are always a major foundation of advice and experience that I can tap into when I have exhausted my own ideas and energy. Not very often do we ever get to say how awesome our friends are with the exception of stupid chain emails we now half read but are thankful we still get them because we are reminded how fortunate we are to be getting them...even if it is the 90th fucking time.
Alot of you have recently been telling me that I have come such a long way in these past years we have known each other. And you have all told me how proud you are of my strength...my insane ranting passion towards certain movements(puppy mills, factory farms) and even when opinions differed(republicans, gays being able to marry(they should ya know lol))and as big as those subjects may be, they are too small in comparison to our bond to ever change our friendship. All of these qualities you have commended me on have come from what I have learned and emulated from all of you. And don't think a day does not go by that I am not thankful for the debates, the friendship and any and all chances I get to repay any of you with the same support and devotion.
So many people have come and gone in my life...some pop back in occasionally and flitter back into the shadows of obscurity but you few that are reading this have always been there...whether we have been states away or too buried with our own dramas we still try to find the time to at least listen. As insane as this past month or so has been for me....when I get to spend time with you guys..even just via email...you remind me that reality is not the job, school, or the idiots out on the streets....reality is the friendship between all of us that has gotten all of us through so much crap. Its the mutual understanding of sarcasm and cynicism and humor that we can only get from each other. Its the sentences we finish for each other, the hand bags that we spot in the store at the same time, the understanding of the most subtle facial expressions of clearing of a throat, the private jokes, the tear filled secrets from those bruised parts of our soul even our own family members know nothing about. Its the compliments and congratulations we give each other. Its those unexplained moments of shared visions, choking on water at the same time states away, crying over the same stupid commercial, or dodging flying pebbles from a very emotionally receptive zen fountain that makes us realize how lucky we are to know people who share in some parallel cosmic flow. It's in the secrets we share, the experiences we compare, the diligent and passionate protection we have for each other. It's having faith in each other's abilities even when other people tell us we can't, and the occasional kick in the ass when we ourselves are unable to find our own abilities. It's just amazes me because I have always been friends with guys because they seemed less catty. And I have found several women who at one time or another were "just one of the guys" and felt the same way. And I think this is why we share that tight camaraderie as well as an amazing sense of humor...because we spent so much time resisting the usual girl bullshit. We share the best of all the realms of friendship.
I am forever thankful, and even on my worst days....honestly I have never been happier. I don't think we ever get a chance to really express to people in our lives how much of a difference they make.

Send this to 15 of your friends to let them know you care and you will find 500 dollars under a rock in Korea. Honestly, my friends tried this and two days later she flew to Korea and the first rock she picked up had 500 dollars under it!!


LOL

I never thought would see the day that A&E Biography would cover Ozzy.

Holy Crap. Its Friday night and I am sitting here watching a documentary on Full House!!! It must be time like these when people contemplate suicide.
Oh...Lu...remember last weekend when we were trying to remember that movie where the guy tries to order something and gets this long list of choices?.....it's Mr. Mom.
He's at the deli counter and he keeps trying to order cold cuts. He asks for ham and the broad is like, "Deli, virginia, taylor, honey baked..."
LOL.

What's in Chicken Mc Nuggets?

The following is an email I sent to Petworks....some pet store in New York that boasts importing the "finest AKC pups from loving homes". Right...no loving breeder would just give up the puppies they put so much time and money into to total strangers...and definitely not to schmucks stupid enough to go into a pet store for a dog.

Where exactly do you get these dogs from? And what reputable breeder would be willing to give dogs to people they have never seen or met. A caring breeder would want to make sure their dogs would have a good home. How are these dogs imported? How can you guarantee they do not come from some foreign puppy mill? How can you guarantee their health physically and behavior wise? How many times have the mothers of the puppies you sell been bred? Are they over breeding? Have you been to these breeding facilities? Have you made sure that the health of these animals is secure? Have you made sure the people breeding these animals are not in it for the money? And just because they have papers does not insure their health and quality...so have you physically gone to these places and checked the health of their line?? How can you guarantee me that these dogs are bred for temperament and health in a home environment? Do you guarantee these dogs for life because sometimes neurological degradation due to poor breeding does not show up until later on...conveniently after all these "caring pet store" guarantees expire. A real breeder would take the dog back at any time.
So, can you guarantee the health and well being of these puppies you sell? Can you guarantee the health and well being of the mother that has to breed these puppies? If not then you are definitely supporting the mill industry...rationalize it anyway you want...whatever helps you sleep at night.

Looking forward to some answers.

--

Whats the best way to piss me off??? Tell me someone I know walked into a pet store and bought a puppy. Skadi's "Puppy mill, what are you an asshole for buying a pet store dog?" in 3...2....1....

Prisoners of Greed

I am floored that educated people in this day and age know nothing about pet stores. If you buy a dog from a pet store you are putting money into the puppy mill industry. I don't know how much clearer I can make it!!
I don't care how nice the store owners are, or how cute the puppies are, or if they are AKC. They came from someone who does not care where the dog goes. They come from a female dog who is kept in a rusty filthy cage breeding and breeding and breeding until her body gives out on her. Eventually she won't be able to walk or stand because her back end will be so weak from over breeding. She is essentially raped cycle after cycle. If you are fine with putting money towards that then by all means go ahead. But you will also be putting money into vet bills for your puppy. Over bred mothers cannot give the nutrition to their puppies in the womb that they need to grow strong. Some have behaviour issues, skin allergies, food allergies. If you have money to piss away...go for it. AKC registered??? Even the AKC admits that any dog even a mill dog can be registered with them.
When you buy a dog from a pet store, you put back into a system that is raising sub par animals for profit...they think you are dumb enough to fall for it. Are you???
I have seen a Great Dane rescued from a mill that was shut down. The people at the mill used to put cigars out on him. If you want your money to be a part of that...go ahead. I saw a Japanese Chin that was kept in a pet store in a cage so small that his back legs grew abnormal because he had to crouch all the time.Did you buy from a pet store? Because your money went into an industry that does this to thousands of animals. You helped fund this!!!!! While you are at it....drop off a case of wine to the alcoholic who beats his kids, stock your store with merch from a sweat shop....its all your money going towards abuse. Thats sick....are you that sick???
And while I was typing this...my dog started yelping because she was choking on a chew toy. So your stupidity almost killed my dog...because I have to still type this shit to try and inform people to stop becoming a victim of petstore by purchasing a victim from a pet store.

Ugh, I am so bored.
My mom bought herself a new laptop...so now instead of bursting into my apartment ever hour and a half, she just emails me....repeatedly..about nothing.
I'm bored. I started putting together and organizing my dog training tip sheets. I was about to start typing up some of the lessons and just did not feel like. So what do I do?...hop on the blog.
I did not teach my Sunday student today. I called their house to confirm we were on for today and no one was home. They are amazing people...very sweet...and their dog is extremely intelligent, very trainable...but they are too busy. They cancel on me alot because their kids have like 7 different extra cirricular activities. Everyone is always coming and going. The energy in the house is just hyper...so their herding dog who is high energy to begin with is picking up on the chaos. They never practice training with the dog during the week so the only enforcement the dog gets is when I am there. Its really a waste of everyone's time. Its unfair to the dog. They have no time to give her the exercise and interaction she needs. I suggested taking her to dog parks but again...they have no time...the kids need to be driven all over the place. So the dog makes no real headway at all. The breeder really should have taken their busy life style into consideration when she interviewed them. The dog is terrific, lovable, sweet, smart as hell...but she needs enforcement. Their kids are none to disciplined either. I suggested putting their herding dog into agility or the new herding club that is just starting up out east. Nope, don't wanna. They keep toying with boot camp training for the dog. I am dead against sending your dog away to be trained by someone else and you have no idea what they're are doing to your dog....but this is one case where I may recommend it. It would just be easier on everyone.

Were you ever alone and you said something to yourself or did something that just had you cracking up, doubled over in laughter...and you can't decide if its a good thing or a bad thing that no one else is around to witness your jovial insanity?
I'm always one to put myself in stitches. Hey, it beats crying and brooding or drinking by yourself right?
I had myself doubled over in laughter for the stupidest thing.
Lotus' spring coat is coming in...or should I say her winter coat is coming off....in clumps. The rug in the aparment is a light color so it looks as if no one has vacuumed in years. I'm constantly picking up clumps of hair. I can't wait until this molting of my dog is over.
I was letting her out the door to go take care of some business and she hesitated. I gently touched her butt with my foot and said, "Get going Sheddy....Sheddy Lee..." It was all over from there....I was in hysterics, she was looking at me like I was nuts as I stood in the doorway doubled over. For those of you who are lucky enough to not live in my little world....the lead singer of Rush is Geddy Lee. So for some reason the whole thing just struck me funny....welcome to my world, now run for the sake of your sanity. LOL
Lo and I are watching The Grudge. I need to see the Japanese one. I already might have. My ex-fiance used to bring home tons of horror movies....I have seen several Japanese ones. Wow...just wow. And I am not talking about the cheesey ass campy cult Godzilla crap...I'm talking about realy dark, twisted Japanese horror. The Horror from other countries has made American horror look like the Teletubbies....bad comparison...those things are fucking frightening...but you know what I mean. Italian horror is only now getting the acknowledgement it has always deserved. Italy loves their gore...but Japan.....loves the dark corners of the human mind. German horror however I have always found to be more artistic and symbolic in its approach. Only recently has America caught up. For years after watching foreign horror anything american was lacking...with the exception of Sam Raimi's work, Savini, Tarantino...to name a few...but for the most part they acknowledge the horror over seas for alot of inspiration. Afterall is was Tarantino who eventually bought the rights to a Fulci classic and brought it to the Angelica theater for a viewing...I was lucky enough to be their sitting in the same theater as Tarantino(who got a standing ovation from all of us for bringing a movie into the states that was orignally banned), Typo Negative, and several other New York based metal bands. It was an awesome night!! Anyway...foreign horror must be seen.
Before this movie The Craft was on. I watch that movie mostly for the exaggerated humor. The irony is my mom busts into my apartment while I am watching it to try and convince me to go to church. Wow....she's still in denial I guess.

Once again....I get sucked into a movie and waste time I could be using to do something worth while. I am watching The Perfect Storm....which is The Perfect Movie for me to cringe. Too many people get trapped under water and die. My biggest fear in being trapped underwater. I swear its a past life thing....not that people adore being trapped under water...

Two reasons I a can accomplish nothing on Saturday mornings.
1) Bravo insists on playing like 4 episodes of Six Feet Under and I get totally wrapped up in it.
2) Lotus' warm little body on my lap snoring.

I'm sorry but can't Al Sharpton get a fucking job like everyone else and just shut the fuck up? He is trying to fill some big shoes....he thinks he is another Martin Luther King. He never will be. King was a very intelligent person who saw a need for all humans to be treated with respect. He wanted blacks and whites to realize we are all human and we are all on this planet together. Sharprton is actually undoing all that by spewing either obvious or overblown information. Sharpton is ludicrous...he has nothing revolutionary to say and all he does is rile up racism. He is useless...he needs to sit down and enjoy a nice hot cup of Shut the Fuck Up.

::Mock Rant::
you heard of it here first.
Mock Rant....if you know me then you have probably seen me mock rant. Its when I rant to someone else out loud about something that is bothering me within earshot of the bother-er or someone in control of said bother. For instance...today I got up at the ass crack of dawn to take my car in for an inspection, alignment, break pad change and tire rotation. I was the second person there when the place opened. Despite my dragging my fat ass out of bed and sucking up the fact this was going to cost me money I absolutely do not have....I wound up sitting there for about six hours. My blood sugar hit rock bottom and I had seen all the upper class assholes with their shiny Lexie and BMW's come in and leave. But me and some Asian kid were sitting there for hours. Finally after he and I complained to each other about how badly this is fucking up our plans for the day I got on the phone with my mother.
"yeah, I'm still here....waiting"
"What's being done to your car"
"Apparently its being taken apart and put back together again because I have been here six hours" A manager was walking by and gave a quick side shot. So I kept it up. "I could change these stupid breaks in two hours but the guys here apparently are having an issue" Another manager over hears this.
"Go ask how long it's going to take.."
"You know what....everyone with the shiny Lexus and Beamers are in and out of here in no time but the poor girl with the blue collar redneck pick up has to wait 6 hours" Some upper class guy who was arguing with his spoiled daughter for messing up the front end of her handed to her car turned to me abruptly (two for one...metal....voiced aggravation and insulted a bourgeois!!) with a look of shock.
"Stop...you better keep quiet..." One of the managers scurried to the garage. I watched him through the window of the waiting room as he grabbed my work ticket from the mechanic.
"No, if you have money you get taken care of...if you are ghetto poor you have to wait while they get the royal treatment"
"Skadi, keep quiet...you are going to get into a fight..."
"So what....I don't care...my hypoglycemia is raging because I have not eaten all day because I have to sit here and wait while the upper class go ahead of me?? Must be nice to be wealthy"
Mr. Rich turned back around and just stared straight ahead.
The manager came back up from the garage area with a forced smile. "Okay, you are just about done"
He worked up the bill (1200$!!!) and handed it to me. "Thank you for your patience" I just gave him a look like "who are you kidding?" We both new someone fucked up or fucked off...either way..it took way too long for the truck to get done....I'm not an air head when it comes to cars like the rich daddy's girl in the waiting room. I have seen inspections done-I know hoe long they take, I have seen brake changes-in fact an ex's brother showed me how to change them years ago, I know how long an alignment takes...her camber was screwed but not that screwed. All of that put together should not have taken six and half hours...four hours yes...five maybe...not six and a half.
So there you have it...the mock rant...when you don't have the balls to start shit directly. A personal trademark of mine...I am not sure if I am proud of it or not....I think its another example of my passive aggressive tendencies.
I'm bored. I was supposed to go out tonight and I was really looking forward to it but in light of the fact that I was up at dawn for my car I am exhausted and the last thing I need is to fall asleep behind the wheel or something on the way home from a club....especially after 1200 bucks in repairs. So, I'm just sitting here bored stupid waiting to get tired enough to head to bed.

I hate my neighborhood. First off no one can get out of a parking lot to save their lives...or me time for that matter. I'm on line for coffee and I see two women ahead of me in mink coats....I had to bite my tongue so hard I tasted blood. All I could picture was that PETA footage where they skinned a raccoon alive at a fur farm and threw the skinless body, suffereing and exposed onto a pile of more skinless dying racoons...the worst was when the skinless face lifted up to look at the camera and you saw the excruciating pain in it's eyes. So this scene was running through my mind while I wondered how many times that scenario played out so these rich whores can keep warm.
I was behind one of them as we left the parking lot. She had a nice new Infiniti with a plate the read luv2spnd. I was very tempted to rail right into the back of her shiny new car with my piece o crap blue collar chevy pick up. Unfortunately you can't fit "Luvs2slaminsbkrchsltscr".
Stop the fur trade industry...we have tons of toasty warm fabrics taken humanely from sheep farms.

EndMisery.com
Not only is there some really terrific information on here regarding puppy mills and buying dogs from pet stores...there are also some pictures taken during an undercover investigation of some mills. Take a look at them and remember them the next time you walk into a pat store that sells puppies. Buying one of these pet store dogs under the pretense of "rescue" is only making an empty space for a new victim....we need to hit them in their wallets to make them stop this disgusting market.

All human activity is behaviour. Through the centuries we have developed codes of conduct, these become laid down by the society, by the culture, in which we live, and by the so-called saints and religious teachers; this code or pattern, this norm of behaviour, becomes traditional and automatic, that is, mechanical. - J. Krishnamurti

Yup, here is another one of my infamous letters fighting cruelty to canines. I can't help it. This one is to someone on About.com who write for the AboutDogs section. She provides so much info to inform people about what is best for their dogs and meanwhile there will be an ad for puppies online or whatever beneath the article. Today I was reading an article on the site about the Lancaster puppy mills (yeah...the religious Amish are responsible for the abuse and genetic degradation of god's creatures....now ask me why I am no longer christian?). Right beneath the article is an ad for puppies on LiveDeal.com...a site that has ignored many of my emails regarding the mass market of unscreened puppy sales. If just one of my emails could change any aspect I would be greatful and finally feel accomplished....until them....I type like an insane dog lady activist...so be it. LOL

I love the articles you have on your site, especially the ones regarding puppy mills. As a trainer I have seen many pet store dogs with issues and I have had to explain to their owners why their dogs have such issues. Sometimes they are angry at me, sometimes at the pet store, sometimes they just insist that their dog is AKC registered (we know that makes no difference) I do have a bit of a grievance regarding your articles on About.com and I don't know if you have the power to do anything about it.
I was reading the article about puppy mills and right beneath your article is an ad for puppies on livedeal.com. I don't know if you have ever been on livedeal.com but essentially it is backyard breeders and mills selling puppies. Some are occasionally 'free to a good home' which is just as bad because laboratories and dog fighters in need of bait dogs can easily obtain these poor puppies for abusive purposes. Again, I don't know if you have any say in what ads are put beneath your articles but I think you should know they are contradictory to the good work you are trying to accomplish.
Thank you for your time,
Skadi

I was in my usual Saturday morning meditation...which is actually just me hanging out with Lo on the couch watching movies. I hit channel 14 which as most of you in the area know is the Cable Guide. What i found hysterical was the fact that as the channel guide scrolls...it includes channel 14 on the listing...I guess thats for the idiot who turns to the Cable Guide channel to find out what channel the cable guide is on.

Last night I had one of my phenomenal dead dreams. I was moving through this huge three story house. The rooms were either blue in light or just dark or white with natural sunlight. I was moving through them with Duncan and Lotus. They stopped in front of one room and everything went quiet...I began to move them away from the doorway and as I did all these thin wraith like arms came grasping at us from the dark of the room. I saw people outlined faintly in the dark of the room...the light from the hall glinting in their eyes. As we went higher through out the levels of the house the rooms were more and more full of spirits.
I have no clue what this means...I'll fgure it our eventually....I'm thinking maybe its because I have a million things pending right now in all aspects...nothing but change and unrest. My mind is constantly awake and moving even when I am not. It's edgy, its agitated, and its weary. The dark rooms are things unforseen, the blueish ones are things coming to light....the hall and main rooms were lit with sun which might mean that what I see now is all that can be revealed...immediately in front of me. Now what is it my dreams are telling me to do? Lotus and Duncan? Whats up with that? Could they represent my instinct? Do these rooms need to have their lights thrown on and gone through to purge out the unforseen visitors?? You can't be in all the rooms of a house at once...one at a time. Lately I am feeling pressure from all aspects and need things to come to a close or get off the ground or whatever. I might need to keep reminding myself that things need to be handled one at a time.
Ok....so I guess I do know what the dream meant. LOL

I have a bone to pick with 30 Seconds To Mars' video From Yesterday. They dress like Samaurai but they are prissy mock fighting with what appear to be Chinese war swords. Maybe I am just a sword geek but if you are going to go with a theme for your video...hire people who are going to do accurate research. Any asshole can tell the difference between a Chinese war sword and a Katana or a Zatoichi(sp.) for that matter. And I doubt any of those emo guys in the band would even withstand the armor of the samurai let alone the battle wits. And yeah I might be a little sensitive about this because I saw The Last Samurai last night. LOL

Dunkey Monkey
When Duncan was at the vet on Monday they weighed him....130 lbs!! And he is just over nine months...Newfounlands can grow for up to 3 years!! I adore big dogs so the bigger he gets the better...but my mother on the other hand...although she to adores big dogs...becomes necro pale when she informs us that the vet thinks Duncan will hit 180lbs.
We were told Darla would be 140 and she is only 115 in the winter, 105 in the summer. I think Dunc will fill out at around 150-160. Luckily his heart is as big as his body...he is literally the biggest mush. He makes me laugh with his puppy like innocence and playfulness. I frequently forget that despite his size he is in fact a puppy...so when he clumsily knocks you over in the hallway because he does not know his own strength you are forced to take it in stride. When he sits on your lap...well you are forced to just accept it.
Darla however is having a bit of an issue with him. She has felt the need to lead so to speak. We gave her too much freedom of choice as a pup and she simply dominates and bosses my mother around. If my mom bends down to pick something up Darla performs the dominant play mount if you know what I mean. Dunkey Monkey does respects and adores my mother and when he catches Dar doing this he knocks her off my mother. Its hysterical to watch. It's also beautiful to watch two beautiful glossy bear sized dogs break into the dance like moves of the canine argument. My dad always insists it be broken up....I refuse because dogs need to be dogs and establish their own hierarchy. Duncan is quickly taking the lead and in alot ways Darla does not seem to mind. I think she just assumed she had to be leader until he arrived. Alot of times people make the mistake of assuming all dogs want to be alpha(thanks to Caesar and his archaic pre modern behaviour outdated bullshit... on behalf of all trainers and behaviourists...Fuck You Caesar!!), in fact people tend to give their dogs too much freedom and not enough social participation, which in turn leads a dog to think it has to make decisions. Darla is a classic case of that. You would say "Show me" to Dar and she would swing her head to the door to go out, pick which way down the block to walk, open the cabinet for a greenie, or point you in the direction of something she found wrong and would bug you until its fixed, she would grab your hand and drop it on her shoulder to tell you to scratch. She made choices and we were so fascinated with the mind of the Newfoundland breed that we reveled in her problem solving abilities. Thus became the alpha known as Darla. But now Dunk does not know better than to barge past her to go out the front door. He does not know the big couch is all Darla's, he sees, he takes, and he knocks Dar down to get it.
Lotus on the other hand has way bigger attitude than her size indicates when it comes to defending her possessions. I am honored to say I am one of them. Duncan came into the apartment before and Lotus was right by his side watching his every move. She has finally accepted the apartment as her newly upgraded den. So now when Duncan enters, she keeps a sharp eye on him. He came up to me and she ran right in between us. He tried to climb onto the couch, she grabbed his over sized drooping jowl with her teeth and gave him a warning growl. He tried to go into the bedroom...she ran ahead of him grabbed his jowl and growled again. I was cracking up as I watched a 20 lb dog boss around this 130lb puppy. Size has nothing over age when it comes to canines and their dominance over each other. I called my parents in to watch. Duncan was not allowed to even smell anything without Lo grabbing his jowl or body blocking him away from the items in question. When he spotted her food dish she ran over and ate every last piece....I don't even think she was hungry, she did it more out of spite (takes after her mom). Eventually there was nothing for Dunc to engage in and he left. It's so funny how to humans we see size as an intimidation factor...in dogs....its all attitude.

What? Terror Statistics Were Blown Out of Proportion??? No Shit Sherlock!!

It would appear that some people deleted me off their Myspace in light of the recent drama. That's a little painful. I want so much to explain to them the reasons because I know some of it has been skewed. At the same time, its not fair to me to try and sway these people even though I want so badly for them to understand what I did was not completely for the petty reasons being highlighted. It's just a little painful when people you have grown to consider family over the years just suddenly want you gone. I guess I have earned and deserve that kind of pain for what I have done. Cosmic universal penance.

Last night was a rare occurence. I went to sleep at like 11. Lotus was having a hard time understanding the wind was not trying to break in. She kept getting up and running to the front window then to the side window, then back to the bed to stand on my hair and face to try and look out the bedroom window as she performed her perimeter check. When she was sure the wind did not break the walls of our mighty suburban castle she would lay down again, only to repeat the process with the next gust. Finally I just shoved her under the covers and when she finally settled down with her little head on my shoulder I wrapped my arm around her and held her just a little tighter with every gust. Finally she started to fall asleep....I can tell because she snores right in my ear....don't laugh....admittedly I can't sleep without that sound anymore which was why I was rather distraught on weekend when she was sent to the crate to sleep.
Finally, I was able to drift off to sleep....nope ...not quite.
I hear a door open.
"Are you asleep?"
"No, I just like to read in the dark"
"I need you to look at Duncan's eyes"
"Why?" I was trying really hard to remember when I aquired this veterinary degree my mother assumes I have. She panics at the least little injury to the dogs...then I have to take control, which usually winds up with me having to explain the situation to her like 10 times before she believes my advice anyway. So needless to say I was hesitant to get out of my warm bed to play vet.
Eventually I did get up and went to go inspect Duncan's eyes. Eye injuries on a dog are nothing to take lightly.
It looks worse than it is because he has saggy Newf eyes so when he pulls up that third lid in pain...its gross...but when he tucked his head down into my chest (typical male.LOL) and pressed the side of his face with the injured eye into me I could tell it was painful. He would not let me open his eye to look and at 127-130 lbs, he is not the easiest to manipulate. I figured if it was just some denris from being out in the wind it would tear out in his sleep. So we decided to let him sleep the night and see how the eye looks in the morning.
It still looked terrible.
He has to go to the vet today. I might have to take him because my mother has to run a computer over to my brother in Stony Brook. It should be fun trying to load a 127 lb dog into my truck.

Yeah...I have not done all that much today but I did find this. Most likely the only person who can appreciate this is Jme.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=dVZUIHWm9B0&mode=related&search=
Tripping Daisy's "I Got a Girl" put to anime. Two great nostalgias that go great together.

Poor Thing
I worked with this dog when I was interning at the shelter. I can't believe she is still there. She needs to go to a very experienced home and if I recall she is not the most easy going of dogs...still it's sad to see her in the same spot she was when I saw her in December. Poor girl. If I liked terriers at all I would consider it...but she is a handful and terriers aggravate me....so stubborn. I'm not helping sway anyone to adopt this dog am I? LOL

What Video Game Character Are You? (With Pictures!)
Link You're Link!
Take The Quiz Now!	Quizzes by myYearbook.com

Why am i not suprised??

Kelly Clarkson is singing at the Daytona 500 today. I can't even come up with a good line for that one....wait....uhhhh...no nothing. I think the situation basically speaks for itself.
Here's to hoping some debris from an on track accident takes her out....hey, guess I did have a line...ehhh it'll do.

Ok.....why am i seeing this Anna Nicole bullshit on CNN??? CNN!!!! This story is not news....its the biography of almost any trailer renter in any trailer park. WTF?!?! Correct me if I am wrong CNN....isn't there a fucking war on?!?!?!?!?!?! Don't we have a president whose indiscretions, mental retardation, and lack of grasp on our reality, as well as blatant disregard for the middle class AND the environment you can report about? Don't you think people need to hear about that?? I could give two shits less whose baby she had....if I want to watch a paternity test gone wrong....I'll watch Judge Hatchett. Gods, get a grip and cover some actual news!!! This is why the public is so damn stupid.
As viewers we should all be insulted...this is what they feel we want to see....not politics, not corrupt bills being slid in with legitimate ones to be signed into law, not how our president spends more time at his goddamn ranch than in his office reading reports, not about global warming, not about how out troops should be home instead of defending our oil....and that is what they are unfortunately doing and risking their lives every day so the rich can keep their fucking yachts running. No, apparently the media feels we are better off watching reports about what Anna Nicole's nurse had for breakfast before she found Anna dead on the floor. GET OVER IT. "Trailer Trash Broad's Addictions and Inability to Cope With Reality Finally Catches Up To Her." No film at 11....no round table discussion, no debates....The End.

Yup..another cleaning break....Napolean Dynamite is on....I told you I think i am addicted to movies.
Actually I can honestly say the apartment for the msot part is done. I mean aside from decorating type stuff which I am saving for a creative fit...for the most part...everything is in its place. I just have to throw one of Lo's crates in the basement and figure out what to do with all this computer crap...it took me a half hour to untangle all the wires....it was like Radio Shack crawled into my room and died.
Aside from that I have a few things to put away, a good detail cleaning and some laundary and I can get focused on earning that certification (Certified Pet Dog Trainer, its a standardized cert from the Association of Pet Dog Trainers) among other things. I would love to go back to school for Canine Behavior, but first things first.
Today's awkward moment was brought to you by Stormy Leather:
I was cleaning out the last drawer in my old room, my mother was in there vacuuming and getting ready to move some things in(they are making my old room an office). I open the drawer and right on top are three corsets...one of which is one of the really expensive leather ones that women actually use for corseting(to refresh your memory of that story you can go back to the invaded blog and check my archives)...it looks rather...dungeon-esque. Either she really is as flakey as I thought or she just looked at it and said nothing. Either way.....awkward.
But it definitely kept her from nosing the rest of the drawer, LOL.

Taking a cleaning break...again.
Cult!! The Karate Kid is on! "Get him a body bag, yyyeeeeaahhhh"
"Sweep the leg. You got a problem with that??"

I think I have a severe movie addition....I can sit down and watch almost anything....maybe its just a good excuse to duck out of reality for a few....what ever....but this is probably also why its taken a month to get this apartment together. LOL
Whatever.

"You Beginner Ruck!"

::Microcosms::
There is something about 4 a.m. that brings me the most outstanding realizations about....well everything.
Last night I came home and was watching old horror movies on AMC. Finally around 4 a.m. I was ready to turn in....mainly because House of Dracula is one of the most boring movies...but there is something about Lon Chaney that has always intrigued me so I watch anyhoo....he is not striking but he always plays these very sweet characters who can't quite understand "Why him?" when he is inflicted with occult happenings, he's meloncholy, charming...and A.D.D girl is off the subject as usual.
So Lotus decides 4 a.m. is the time to brave the icy tundra of our yard. She was hesitant to go down the stairs of the entrance but I gave her a slight tap on the ass and down the steps she went. A couple of minutes later she was back at the foot of the steps. I opened the door to let her in but she just stood there.
In my mind the fact that she went back to my steps is a triumph because all week I let her out my entrance and she still goes to the back door to the rest of the house to come back in.
So, she kept pacing and motioning to the corner of the house to let me know she would prefer the other entrance. But lucky her I was tired and stubborn. She kept coming back to my steps because she seemed to want so much to get up the steps and back inside but she was scared to get back up these steps at the same time. I started getting aggravated, I was tired, it was like...three fucking degrees out and my dog who gets me reprimanded in agility class because she happily races up the A frame without command suddenly pussied out at my steps. I threw on my Docs to go get her. As I ambled down the steps...and there are only three...she raced off. I went and got some cookies to lure her in. Same shit...runs right off. Now I was totally aggravated and she was beginning to pace in circles carrying her feet higher off the ground which usually means her feet are getting too cold...she is a toy dog and cannot stand the cold the same way our Newfs do(they nap on the snow). So now on top of being tired, and freezing, I am beginning to get all mom about my dogs paws getting too cold. Now I'm starting to get royally pissed off...which was good because now I'm wide awake again, now I can think like a trainer....what is going on in her little noggin'. Something is scaring her...is it the porchlight....no...is it the steps...hmmm.....yes...the ice is starting to break apart so the fragments are moving...it must have frightened her the last time she was on them. Dogs cannot see detail all that well either so now she cannot see the detail I can that would tell her where the ice most likely to move is. So she does not trust her own footing. She keeps looking to me for encouragement and I am in slumber zombie mode and from there I went to "Joan Crawford, get in the damn house" mode. I forgot the key component...and as a trainer I should know better. Encouragement...she just needs me to encourage her to get up those steps. I needed to get her to trust her own footing. So calmly I called her in, she moved toward the steps and took along look. I kept praising her, she put one paw on the steps, more praise, eventually she gingerly hopped up all three steps and ran inside...her tail was wagging proudly. She wanted to do it herself the whole time..hence the not letting me pick her up, my inactivity and frustration was not indicating to her whether she was doing the right thing or not. She just wanted to know she was doing the right thing and that it was possible for her to accomplish. I was proud of her and I was even more proud that she was so proud of herself. And in light of alot of things lately the whole situation seemed to be a microcosm of my own situation..which in alot of ways is no longer a situaton...much like the steps for Lo. Once again she taught me an amazing life lesson....christ I wish she chose a better hour to do so. LOL
So actually...thats what I have to go do right now. I have to go get the "petsafe" de-icer and go de-ice my steps...her reward for trusting her own footing...an easier path.

Ugh....here is my shantytown of a blog until I figure out what to do with the old one...or if I even need to do anything.
Figures to because my writers block has lifted and my brain has been screaming for days to just write. I'm a gemini dammit...me not writing is like anyone else not being able to speak. That explains the relentless battery of emails flowing from me.
I'm friggin bored senseless!!! All I have been doing is working on this apartment!!! Ugh, I wanted to go to Subculture(Molly's Amityville) tonight but that would just be another extension of drama.
Holy Crap am I bored!!!
In better news....I've dropped like over...about 20 lbs. I'm back in a size 10 jeans(and that needs a belt). The weight is flying off and mostly because I was sick to my stomach with stress the past couple of weeks but also because I have been more active on weekends as opposed to sitting around doing nothing. Funny how people who were the cause can sometimes be the ones who seem to have the most advice for you to fix it. Also, the drop in alcohol consumption has something to do with it I'm sure.
Lo is being a class A bitch right now, mainly because I have been working my ass off around the house and can't give her much attention. Little does she know next week I'll be bringing her to work with me...the owners will be away.
We have off on Monday...too Metal!
I had so many things I wanted to write about over the past few weeks and now I forgot all of it. LOL
This was just supposed to be a break from working on the apartment but now I am winding down. I'm just so totally tired of being cooped up this place all week that I am not really motivated. Tomorrow is another day..I can work on it then I guess. Ugh.
BORED!!!!