Does anyone still read this?

For those of you in my demographic...get your razors out and draw a warm bath.

Guns N Roses album Appetite for Destruction turned 20 years old this week.

Don't bother testing the temp of the bath water before. LOL

I'm watching Night At the Museum.
I'm bored. This movie is to History what Harry Potter is to reading. Its a very slick way to get children interested in History. While I applaud the stealth.....I am bored as hell!! Some parts of the movie are kinda funny cutesy funny.
I went to the Museum of Natural History...it was as mildly entertaining as this movie is. But lets put it this way...I'm blogging while the movie is on.


My boss complains to me once a day because I put the lines through my seven Euro style. She wants me to stop and write them the "normal" way. She says it confuses her and she thinks its a 3. I've been writing my sevens that way since I was like 8 or 9 when I saw a hispanic kid write his sevens in this manner. I thought it was pretty cool. Now she wants me to stop and its impossible. Thats become a part of my personality...I mean how we write can tell alot about us. Of course you all know I am not conforming to this fascist numeric assimilation.

You just have to love all the new terrorist alerts. Gee, people start to lean more towards Democratic rule and suddenly "Yes, Iraq is involved with terrorism" Bite me. The Bush administration has been the biggest dog and pony show to hit politics in quite a long time. Republican politicians are at risk of losing the great money making position they have had the pleasure of raping the hell out of for the past two presidential terms. So here comes the coincidental terror issues. Dont be fooled by the bullshit.

I just got in fight a few blocks away from my house with some rich middle eastern son of a bitch in a BMW convertable. He was driving so fast he missed the turn onto the road Lotus and I were walking on. Then he makes the turn and starts speeding up the road. I yelled at him to slow down. So he stops and waits for me to catch up at my walking speed...which just shows he was speeding. He starts yelling at me, saying he was not speeding. I told him it looked and sounded very much like he was speeding. He told me I need to have brains before I open my mouth. I told him alot of people have dogs and children at risk because people come speeding down this road. There were people sitting on their porches while we had it out. I was vocal, loud but not profane. The rich guy in the BMW how ever was cursing a blue streak calling me a fucking idiot. I kept my cool and simply said, "For your sake I hope you don't run down a child" And kept walking on my way. He sped off. I'll repeat that....he, in his convertible sports car.....SPED AWAY!!!. I hope he flips that fucking car....and further...I hope I am driving by and can point and laugh at him. Once again....its like a day before my period.....you do not fuck with me!!!! I'm bloated, emotional, crampy, and aggravated!!!
And I'm hoping the fact that he was yelled at by a woman will irk him more than anything else. "An american infidel female told me, ME, a man not to speed down the street" Next time get out of your bourgeois sports car and take a swing at me in this predominantly Jewish neighborhood. With all the global tension...who knows what hilarity will ensue.
Don't get me wrong I have no use for racism...but where the fuck does this guy get off. Welcome to America...welcome to the First Amendment...if he drives by again doing 50 in a 30 that has dogs and children running around....I'll yell again, and again. And when he finally hits a child...maybe he'll remember the infidel whore he called a fucking idiot.

Holy crap!!! I hate weekends. I can't even watch a fucking movie without my mom waltzing in and out of my goddamn apartment. What an ass. Six fucking times she just barges in. I have to stop the movie sit there and wait until she's done which by the way she is never ever ever done!!!! Then she gets mad because I am growing impatient because I want to watch a movie. I'm two days away from my period so now is the not the time to fuck with me or my cinema time...because I assure you knives will fucking fly!!!!!
This last time she found the need to barge in...I'm at the end of the fucking movie which was originally two hours but her bullshit stretched it to three....she has to come in and tell me how she finally spoke to the goddamn neighbor....she sees me pause the fucking movie...keeps going and then finds the need to explain how jesus wants her to resolve her differences with the neighbor so wishing the neighbor well was what a good christian should do. Fuck you and your christian bullshit. If you were the thoughtful fucking human you need to constantly remind yourself you are then you would have a little consideration atleast after the fourth invasion in a three hour period. And this bullshit christian shit has got to stop. When I drive that axe through your head can I use Odin as an excuse???? Well, a good Odinist likes to take care of a problem. Holy Hell in a hand basket.....this woman needs to drop the pious blind fold and open her fucking eyes to reality....I hate pious self righteous christians!!!!!!!!! Fucking Hell!!!!!!!

Huzzah bitches!!!! The Sci Fi Channel Twilight Zone Marathon is own.....Yeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! I love me some Twilight Zone!!!

Puppy mill auction
The best is those god damn amish...how religious and fucking righteous. All these auctions are USDA licensed and inspected. This would leave people to believe that is the USDA says its ok that these dogs are fine and healthy. Watch the video and see what high standards the USDA has for the mill puppy. Then try not to think about the fact that they also inspect the factory farms and slaughter houses we get our meat from.
Alot of people tell me I take this too seriously...I can't save them all...but if I can show these images and help push for laws banning the sale of retail puppies then I have helped do something that can help the welfare and breeding quality of the domestic dog. So fuck you to the nay sayers.
I caused a huge debate on a message board....people became angry...but maybe in after thought they might Google up some of those horrific images and join in the fight to ban mills and backyard breeders. Or they can just wait until there dog lunges and tries to take off their face...like what happened to my mother. Or feel and hear the snap of teeth just miss your face like I did far too frequently from the same over bred goldie. And then they can deal with the heartbreak of having to put that dog down like we had to do.
Alot of you have read this from me far too many times and to you I apologize...but if someone stumbles across this post and becomes aware, and takes further initiative to research this subject...then isn't worth the redundance.
Don't shop, Adopt....voice your anger to the pet stores that sell innocent victims of mills.

WE tv needs to stop with the god damn bridal shows. Its depressing. I just want to watch Mr. Mom and I have to have all this bridal crap dangled in my face...Nya nya...wedding....Nya nya..
Christ I'm about to put a nuptial cake knife to my throat.

Put the fucking phones down and drive

Home alone on a Saturday night. This sucks.

Could someone please feed Angelina Jolie? Have you seen her lately? Is she trying to blend in with all the third world kids she adopted? Have a sandwich. Christ, its like Jack Skellington with a make up and hair.

Click Here to view undercover footage of puppy mill auctions. If you have purchased a dog from a pet store...you helped support this. Regardless of whether you claim you rescued it from the store or because the store was so clean and sparkly that it convinced you the place was caring...your money helps greedy people continue to exploit and abuse dogs.

I don't know what my problem is lately but I have been totally unmotivated lately. By the end of this month I can officially start building a dog training career...but I have barely done a thing to get started. Every aspect of my life had hit that same stagnancy. I feel like my brain just decided nothing is really worth doing let alone doing well. I stopped vacuuming because Lotus(aka Sheddy Lee) just keeps leaving all this hair everywhere. I am amazed at the amount of hair that can come off a 20 lb dog. I figured what is the point in vacuuming? I had clothes in every room of the apartment. It looks like a mall exploded in here. Dishes in the sink....clean dishes that have been in the dishwasher forever. My room was virtually unnavigable. For the past two or three weeks all I do is come home, sit at the computer and watch movies. When to tackle things...I can't focus and just get frustrated. I am so unable to finish a thought lately. My weekends are mostly me sitting on the couch watching movies or Justice Files. I should be doing so much more with my time...I mean these things are not going to magically get done. DBA's will not apply for themselves.
The stagnancy finally lifted today. I was in my conscious coma on the couch watching City Confidential. Half the day was already spent. I was staring at the hideously huge TumbleLee's....Sheddy Lee's hair ball tumble weeds. I looked across the whole carpet which now looked like a desolate dusty rose desert with these white flecked black balls of hair. My eyes widened as I lifted them and saw what a huge mess the apartment was. Where the hell have I been? Suddenly I was up off the couch folding clothes, scooping up hair balls....etc.
I think sometimes we get in that mental rut....then we let our surroundings reflect that which in turn makes it alot harder to get out of the rut. I have let too much build up due to my inactivity. Not just the apartment, getting things together for dog training....plus I really need a second job to pay some bills off a little faster. I've been screwing off big time these past few months...when I should have been moving along and building things up...I simply shut down, fell away, focused on things that really need not be a priority just now. I need to get my energy back on track and focused. The mental coma has ended....whether I want to or not its seriously time to get my ass in gear, suck it up and do what needs to be done in order to accomplish the things I feel I need to.
My brother oddly enough was the one who pointed this out.
"Did you ever feel like nothing is going to get any better and that to keep going is pointless?"
"That's because you are not doing anything...too much time to think when you should be working on what you need. You are sitting here pining about where you are and how nothing will get better instead of doing something about it. Its not going to happen on its own. And in turn this inactivity is giving you too much time to think with despair"
"Jesus Christ, you just gave me the same speech I have given so many others....I'm an ass...I should take the advice I give everyone else"
From that conversation I realized maybe some of my stagnancy might also be coming from a fear of failing or missing out....but in reality....I'll wind up missing more by just sitting here.

I've had Netflix for over a month. In that time...I still have yet to sit through one fucking movie uninterrupted. I might as well have kids at this point. Lotus' interruptions I can understand...but everyone else in the main part of the house just waltzes the fuck in annoys the hell out of me! A two hour movie should not be a six hour endevour!!!! And they see I am in the middle of a movie and then come back 10 minutes later with a far more ludicrous reason to bother me. I should just wait until like 3a.m. and then watch the friggin thing. God I fucking hate this goddamn place. Ugh. I am just overly aggravated with everything lately. The only way I can duck out of all the bullshit is watch a movie and I can't even fucking get that!!!!!! God forbid I get an hour and a half of some fucking piece of mind....the god damn world would probably spin off its axis. Just a couple of hours of peace, not having to worry about money, my future, my appearance, people's opinions, peoples' stupidity...two fucking hours that it, thats all!!!!!!

OK. So now I need to take my truck in to get fixed. I asked my mother if she can give me a ride to and from work. She can't. Great right. No one I know lives or works close enough to me to help out with a ride.
The bullshit gets better. Lotus needs her check up and shots. I have enough money to do one or the other...unless I put one on a credit card...which I only pray I have enough room on a card. I'm stressing big time. I can barely afford to exist as it is. I am trying to work out a plan while my mom and I are taking the dogs for a walk. She keeps changing the fucking subject to "look how they did their yard...", "What's that noise?" "Blah blah blah." I voiced my frustration, what is her reply. A god speech..I need to pray..I need to accept christ yadda yadda yadda. Once again....I have a serious problem and someone tells me to pray. Is it me? Oh, pray and you'll feel better? Sounds like a little something I call "Fuck it, I don't care"....same results. Apparently god is a mechanic AND a vet, I have an OBGYN appointment to?"You need to get in to god's stirrups and scoot to then end of the holy exam table. LOL...can he help with that?
Well Lotus's health comes first, but I really don't feel like being stranded in the ghetto because my truck decided to take a nap. So in lieu of all this I had to budget my grocery shopping under 40 bucks....and oh the fine quality vittles one can obtain for 40 bucks. Apparently I was not shopping at God Mart.
I should just pack it up and move to Iowa as planned. Atleast you can survive financially there...in Gods Country.

Crap....my S-10's rear needs a new gasket and fluid. It just does not end!! Piece of crap truck. I'll never buy another American vehicle again.

Can you believe this lawyer who got on a plane with a resistent strain of TB? What is he an idiot? Who does that?? He is quarantined right now....what would that tell him about what he did? He should be ashamed of himself....what a terribly selfish act on his part. If he infected someone with already compromised respiratory health...he could have killed them. Amazingly shameful!!

Lotus's bday is tomorrow!! How cool is it we celebrate our birthday's in the beginning of June? We are seven days apart...both left handed....my co-trainer was a left handed Gemini as well...his birthday is the day before mine. Lotus will be two...thats right non believers...I have taken care of a living thing for two years. LOL. The other day I found the email that the breeder sent me the day after Lo was born. First one out and the only girl. The attachments were the first pics I had seen of her....eyes still shut...wriggly...looked like a little rodent. What a great birthday that was. So I am happy its her bday...she probably has no clue its her birthday...nor does she care..which is actually good because I have no money to buy her anything. LOL

Here is a piece of sound advice. When you have a pinched nerve in your neck....don't do push ups and sit ups. LOL
Don't ask me how I got this stupid pinched nerve in my neck. My mom insists its stress. I think its from having to physically move that 150lb cow of a dog who just amble in front of you and then stops. Or it was already compromised a few weeks ago when I had alcohol poisoning. The repetitive...ehhh...strain on the neck muscles....from ehhh...the alcohol being...purged...from my system. And then one stupid move later that week just caused the nerve to be pinched. Or maybe its all of the above. Who knows.
But the idiot I am....insisted on working out this evening and severely depreciated any healing that had gone on this weekend. Ahhhh...the trial of having a slower metabolism than some of those size three chicks out their. I hate you. LOL.
Some of you people who have gotten my back rubs in the past better start paying back. LOL
God...it hurts. Maybe its just some kharmic sympathy, psychic energy I absorbed from my boss who is in chronic back and neck pain. Its possible....it is!!!

I must say it was a great excuse to dodge the better half of the BBQ yesterday. My mom set up the vollyball net in the backyard. But it was impossible to keep the game in play because Darla and Duncan kept going after the ball. They can't help it....every ball in the yard is theirs..the only time any of us are ever out there with a ball is to play with them...so they just associate: person+ball=playtime. At one point my newfian princess and the alpha matriarch Darla was on the field running for the ball. The older of my two cousins screams...I mean screams at Darla to "get off the field". I clenched my jaw and held onto my seat to keep from getting up. My mom as usual pretended nothing happened. Darla looked at him like, "How dare you!.....who do you think you are?"
If you know me, you know I can not stand it when people who know nothing about dogs yell at my dogs. All you are doing is confusing their opinion of people. Not to mention the fact that its just plain rude. If someone yelled at your child how would you feel? This back yard is essentially the main playground for all three dogs and has been since they were little pups. This is their territory in their mind. Everything in it is theirs, they defend it, guard it...its theirs. This shit yelled at Darla and in her typical dignified fashion turns her back on him walks toward the edge of the field, puts her front paws over the line and keeps her ass in the field pointing in his direction. I lost it....she has an amazing sense of humor. "Good one Dar". She looked at me and opened her mouth in a big panting smile as if to say, "Right? can you believe the set on this kid? Kiss my tail buddy". Darla has always cracked me up with her well thought out actions. Her sense of humor is one you see commonly in the Newfoundland but very rarely in alot of other breeds. That humor coupled with the typical stubborn attitude of a female dog makes for a hysterical sense of humor....not unlike alot of us bitchy broads huh?

Ugh. My mom thought is would just be a riot to have family over today for a Memorial Day BBQ. Wonderful....unfortunately you can't pick up the sarcastic tone in my text. If you can you either know me to well or I am the greatest writer ever. LOL.
My aunt uncle and cousins are Baptists....not the entertaining kind either that dance around with no teeth in their mouth and snakes in hand while swiging a jar of homemade moonshine. No, these are boring baptists. They sucked my mom in. So basically its their fault I get harrassed while I try to sleep every Sunday morning with, "Do you want to come to church with me?"
And basically my brother and I are told consistently if we don't accept christ we are going to hell, despite the fact that we could save a bus load of nuns from a fiery death...we would still go to hell. I had started this arguement with her many times in the past. Now I just keep my mouth shut. My brother loves to debate and does with the typical sneaky yet scarey cunning only a Pisces can have. I break it up when he starts to step on my mom's faith though. I don't think you should ever step all over someone's faith...although many christians seem to do so constantly...very rarely do you see any other religion do this to others...but still and all...no one should take away your faith.
My brother is agnostic for the most part. I am pagan but I apply alot of agnostic...cism?....to my faith. Because in reality the images we are given in the Bible and mythology are just given to us to help focus our minds on morals, clear thought as well as teaching us to find underlying meaning in all that we do...be it work, life choices..etc. What Pagans call spells, christians call prayer....its all just to help the human mind focus on a goal or gain clear thought to see what truely needs to be done, or what you are supposed to learn from the situation. I am not a fan of christians telling me that I need to give everything over to god because he will take care of all. If that was the case we would have no war and no homeless. We are here to learn, we are challenged to become better and stronger. We are consistently and until our death beds...a work in progress....maybe even beyond the death bed.....but I am getting off the subject here.
My mom gives me the speech about not cursing or telling any "off color" stories. I said, "Do you have that little faith in me and my conduct...I know I curse like a trucker but when I taught class...and you were in on two sessions...did you ever once hear me swear?"
"No...but I..."
"Then have a little faith in my fucking conduct..." LOL, "And what kind of things do you think I am going to say?.....Here's to swimmin with bow legged women...." Jaws was on yesterday...
"Skadi, OMG"
She then gave the speech to my brother. He argued with her on the issue for some time. We have never gotten along with this side of the family. For years my aunt has sat me down and tried to convince me of the "dangers of heavy metal". Her kids look at me in fear..I don't know what she has told them...I could be dressed like a Stepford wife and sneeze pez and these kids would still fear me.
So my brother, fresh from the dorm mentioned a few beers will solve everything.
"No there's not alcohol....baptists don't drink..."
After the sound of a skipped record filled the room ad quickly left....my brother and I looked at each other.
After my mother left the room he said there is no way he can deal with these people. I told him its no problem he just needs to chill. Then my mother comes back and insists we must include the children in all we do. These kids are like 20 years younger than us!! If we were in Alabama...I could have bore these children...there is a slight gap in age (no offense Alabama..but you know your rep)...lets out it this way...they missed the Yu-gi-oh craze.
So we went and got a six pack of Guinness...because Lotus loves the Guinness..kidding. Long story short...empty stomach...I am one in...with a pinched nerve...and a house full of Baptists. Send help!
No spell check....my mom is at the door telling me to be social. I love you guys...it's been nice knowing ya.