Ugh. My mom thought is would just be a riot to have family over today for a Memorial Day BBQ. Wonderful....unfortunately you can't pick up the sarcastic tone in my text. If you can you either know me to well or I am the greatest writer ever. LOL.
My aunt uncle and cousins are Baptists....not the entertaining kind either that dance around with no teeth in their mouth and snakes in hand while swiging a jar of homemade moonshine. No, these are boring baptists. They sucked my mom in. So basically its their fault I get harrassed while I try to sleep every Sunday morning with, "Do you want to come to church with me?"
And basically my brother and I are told consistently if we don't accept christ we are going to hell, despite the fact that we could save a bus load of nuns from a fiery death...we would still go to hell. I had started this arguement with her many times in the past. Now I just keep my mouth shut. My brother loves to debate and does with the typical sneaky yet scarey cunning only a Pisces can have. I break it up when he starts to step on my mom's faith though. I don't think you should ever step all over someone's faith...although many christians seem to do so constantly...very rarely do you see any other religion do this to others...but still and all...no one should take away your faith.
My brother is agnostic for the most part. I am pagan but I apply alot of agnostic...cism?....to my faith. Because in reality the images we are given in the Bible and mythology are just given to us to help focus our minds on morals, clear thought as well as teaching us to find underlying meaning in all that we do...be it work, life choices..etc. What Pagans call spells, christians call prayer....its all just to help the human mind focus on a goal or gain clear thought to see what truely needs to be done, or what you are supposed to learn from the situation. I am not a fan of christians telling me that I need to give everything over to god because he will take care of all. If that was the case we would have no war and no homeless. We are here to learn, we are challenged to become better and stronger. We are consistently and until our death beds...a work in progress....maybe even beyond the death bed.....but I am getting off the subject here.
My mom gives me the speech about not cursing or telling any "off color" stories. I said, "Do you have that little faith in me and my conduct...I know I curse like a trucker but when I taught class...and you were in on two sessions...did you ever once hear me swear?"
"No...but I..."
"Then have a little faith in my fucking conduct..." LOL, "And what kind of things do you think I am going to say?.....Here's to swimmin with bow legged women...." Jaws was on yesterday...
"Skadi, OMG"
She then gave the speech to my brother. He argued with her on the issue for some time. We have never gotten along with this side of the family. For years my aunt has sat me down and tried to convince me of the "dangers of heavy metal". Her kids look at me in fear..I don't know what she has told them...I could be dressed like a Stepford wife and sneeze pez and these kids would still fear me.
So my brother, fresh from the dorm mentioned a few beers will solve everything.
"No there's not alcohol....baptists don't drink..."
After the sound of a skipped record filled the room ad quickly left....my brother and I looked at each other.
After my mother left the room he said there is no way he can deal with these people. I told him its no problem he just needs to chill. Then my mother comes back and insists we must include the children in all we do. These kids are like 20 years younger than us!! If we were in Alabama...I could have bore these children...there is a slight gap in age (no offense Alabama..but you know your rep)...lets out it this way...they missed the Yu-gi-oh craze.
So we went and got a six pack of Guinness...because Lotus loves the Guinness..kidding. Long story short...empty stomach...I am one in...with a pinched nerve...and a house full of Baptists. Send help!
No spell check....my mom is at the door telling me to be social. I love you guys...it's been nice knowing ya.